MAIN EVENT. A Good Place to Get Started --- a.k.a "Table of Contents"
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MAIN EVENT. A Good Place to Get Started --- a.k.a "Table of Contents" |
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SAN FRANCISCO - ONCE UPON A TIME Charlie used to shag this frail named Jane. Jane was a short, pale, dark-haired nurse. Jane had this habit of flinching when you came near her, like some gradeschool prankster had pasted a "KICK ME!" sign on her back and she carried it there all her life just waiting for the next swift one.
You would think, Losers, that some frail with this kind of vanilla profile would be totally predictable: straight Missionary position and no kinky stuff. But nothing could have been further from the truth!
I didn't. But, man! I was tempted.
I had no idea a girl like cute, little Jane was into this kind of rough stuff.
Thing is, as you prolly already guessed, Slacker, Charlie is not a bottom, an "M," kind of guy. So Jane and the Tuna was the S & S couple.
It got kind of embarassing, especially when we went to visit our friends. It got to the point where our friends started asking us if we would mind checking into a motel instead of staying at their houses. They got kindah sick of how we thrashed the rooms when we was shagging --- and the seeing us afterwards: ears half bit off, bloody welts down our backs, lips all swollen and oozing... I know some of you know of what I speak...
Even so, things went okay between me and Jane 'til that night she sprang out them handcuffs. I reached up to balance myself by grabbing one of the bedposts and "clamp-clamp!-clamp!" that little bitch had me bound to the bed. Let's just say what followed was NOT pretty...
Which brings me around, like the whip lickin' burning flames of pain offah that bare ass, to the Tuna Recommended Site of the Week, Slackers:
Take it from Charlie, Nina has got it goin' on!
I found multitudinous links to all of her great videos at one of my favorite (and also recommended) sites, Human Sexuality. (This link will take you to their page on the vicissitudes of B&D and S&M.) If you are into learning about responsible adult fun, this is one place you have to go, Losers. Then maybe you could get as busy as Charlie the Tuna. Check it out!
But before you try any of this stuff, or use any of the sex toys Nina recommends: Talk it over with your partner. Everybody ain't as receptive to surprises as I was when I was shagging Plain Jane.
You'll be glad you did.
As always: Stay hard.
Plain Jane was the sort of freak who associated sex and pain. She was the "S" in S & M. The first time she took a hunk outtah my shoulder, after raking her claws across my ass, I was like to slap that 'ho hard!
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