To read this article in Deutsch, Francaise, Italiano, Portuguese, Espanol, Korean, Chinese, Japanese, copy and paste the complete URL("http://www.generator21.net/tunanow24.html") and enter it in the box after you click through.
|The World's Magazine: generator21.net
Event # 290: BIERCE WEEK
wherein satire and reality collide
G21 BARNES & NOBLE SEARCH ENGINE
G21 Daily Cartoon
G21 Digital Internet Postcards
JOIN OUR MAILING LIST. You'll be glad you did. Surveys that affect our look and feel and much more. Be part of the In-Crowd!
MEMOIRS OF THE INFO AGE
MY GLASS HOUSE
THE SEX COLUMN
RECOMMENDED DAILY REQUIREMENT ARCHIVES.
MEMOIRS OF THE INFO AGE ARCHIVES.
G21 STUFF: SHOW THE PRIDE. Why wear that T-shirt or sweats from Nike when you can sport the splendiferous G21 blue logo? Let people know you're In The Know with G21 gear. Follow that link and find it here. Thank you so much!!!
LAST WEEK's EDITION
MEET THE G-CREW! These are the people behind this jam-band every week.
When you are the master of your genre, it's not uncommon for those people with half a brain in their head not only to give you props, but also to pay homage by offering up some new font of creativity themselves. Such is the case with "Candy" who produces the Pimpin' Ain't Easy message board. I want to share with you a letter that Candy sent to your main Sexologist.
I came across your website and feel you 100% on the white boys trying to claim the pimping game online. It is straight bammer. We need more brotha's online to do more shit like they trying to do. Even though I am a female, I recognize what time it is with what's going on, especially online!!!
I would like for you to visit me at http://novogate.com/board/1814 "Pimpin Aint Easy" and say a few words if you will. A link back to your site in an intelligent way without disrespecting my board is all good.
Well, Candy, if you are reading this, thanks for the Tuna-props. I'm surprised I haven't hear more from those punks at "Pimpin.com" since I gave them the big beat-down. They sent me some Hate E-mail, of course, but when I asked them to step up, they disappeared like jimmies down the street drain. Which is about where they belong, after all, isn't it?
Anyway, now a few true believers in the Tuna Way will see your wild-ass Web message board. I'm sure they'll tell you that I sent them along. Feel free to drop in and say a few words here anytime --- everybody else feels like they have to right to, don't they? It would be nice to have the 4-1-1 from a sistah who's not a playah-hatah.
THE TUNA Marriage Manual - Installment #2YOUR WAIT IS OVER. I'm finally getting back to cases with the Tuna Philosophy on Marriage.
First, a short background note: When our Publisher let me know that this was gonnah be "Bierce Week" at this rag, I went and tried to see if his hero, Ambrose Bierce, had anything to say on the topic in his infamous "The Devil's Dictionary." And that was no easy task for a man committed to The Life like myself. But here's what I found:MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.
HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
I couldn't agree more.
Like I told you in Part One of this Marriage Manual, PREPARE TO BE HOUSE-BROKEN (ITEM ONE.)
Now let's go on to Items Four and Five.
ITEM FOUR: MARRIAGE IS A FORM OF SLAVERY. Yeah, I know that --- at least here in the United States --- you heard that slavery was an abomination against humanity. Well, my man, so is marriage.
Imagine you want to meet me and the other Players down at the club on a Wednesday night. The first thing out of your "better half's" mouth is: "Where do you think you're goin', Delbert?"
You say, in your most innocent voice: "I'm going to knock back a few with the fellahs."
She says: "WHAT? Are you trippin'? Are you on crack? YOU have to GO TO WORK in the mornin'! We've got BILLS to pay, Fool! AND this is a SCHOOL NIGHT.
"Put your lazy rump back on that sofa and give me back that remote control. We are watchin' TV and then you can take out the trash before you come to bed."
What do you do?
Married men already know the answer to that question: You gave up your freedom when you slip that ring on your finger --- or should I say through yor nose?
There really is no reason to ask you the Tuna Question is there? You're already forgetting what A Man would do...
ITEM FIVE: MARRIED WOMEN COMPARE NOTES. Pay close attention to this one, my man.
You ever noticed how it's become "inconvenient" or "uncomfortable" for you to invite over your SINGLE friends after that ring was slipped on your ... finger? Ever noticed that all of a sudden the only people you go out with and meet at parties are other married (or about to be married) couples? When did that happen?
So now, you don't have the Field of Play (Target Rich Environment) you did anymore, do you, Johnny? In fact, if you look around yourself with a sense of the Player consciousness, you'll note that eligible and willing SINGLE broads are as scarce as hen's teeth.
You think this is by accident? Guess again! The women's network has already been busy eliminating any potential targets from your sights. And they did it among themselves while you didn't even notice. I call that finesse.
How did this happen? It's simple, my friend. Women know other women. They know that they're fellow harridans are always in the market for a good man to hand over his paycheck, whether he already has a woman or not. And they know, among themselves, that the ONLY other women they can trust are ones they are keepin' an eye on!
You can take that to the bank.
Married women don't even trust all other married women, only the ones they are chummy with -- so's they can take their husbands, in revenge, if need be.
Here's a Tuna Rule to consider: Whenever the Deed goes down among the married folk, two marriages end, never one.
That just might explain the divorce rate (+50%) in this country, mightn't it?
Until next time: Stay Hard.
+++ The PREVIOUS SEX COLUMN +++ THE NEXT SEX COLUMN +++
© 2001, GENERATOR 21.E-mail your comments. We always like to hear from you. Send your snide remarks to email@example.com.