G21 TABLOID HART
Celebrity Feuds
by Thomas Hart
G21 Staff Writer
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AUSTIN, TEXAS - Let me begin, my fellow Sanitation Engineers, by apologizing for not coming out in my usual Sunday night time-slot this week. Despite near-merciless badgering from my Esteemed Editor, I did not get this article for the column completed until today, ya'll. I apologize and promise to try to be better about meeting my deadlines in future.
Okay, that's outtah the way! Let's get to the dish!
First up:
THE SPICEY BABIES!
Many of ya'll probably read this week about the fact that Victoria("Posh Spice") Adams announced, at the end of the American tour of the pesky bimbettes, that she is expecting a new little Spice.
G21 TABLOID HART means to look at the anomalies in American culture, the strange and all-too-coincidental interstices of success and destruction. Be here every week as we answer the questions enquiring minds have to ask.
But there's more! Not to be outdone in the fertility zone, later in the week, Melanie("Scary Spice") Brown announced that she was expecting, too. Yes, it seems that the Girl Power(s) have been busy doing more than mugging for the cameras and strutting around the stage, Sanitation Engineers. As Judge Mills Lane would say, they have been gettin' it on!
Tabloid Hart asks: Will the Spice Babies become part of the act?
AND: Should we expect an "announcement" from "Babie Spice" next?
CELEBRITY DISH OF THE WEEK
Another of this nation's great tabloid newspapers this weekthe New York Post reported that film director Woody Allen would like to kick the butt of New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd.
The Woodman seldom does interviews, but the New York Post reports he did one recently for Indie, a magazine about independent films.
It seems that in a January article about Woody's film "Deconstructing Harry," Ms. Dowd wrote that she thought it was "a tiresome Manhattan whine." And felt that the Woodman's character was a "weaselly, overcivilized, undermoralized, terminally psychoanalyzed terminator...."
According to the New York Post, Woody Allen told Indie: "She's not a film critic. Why does she go to the movies and see my films? She goes only so she can write something nasty...."
| Hey, Sanitation Engineers! Not tired of the dish yet?
Then ya'll are cordially invited to drop on in, and join, TABLOID HART's TRAILER PARK. We have a chat room, for when all of us is loitering there together. And I especially want ya'll to check the Trailer Park Discussion Area. Have a celebrity you hate? An idea as to what we oughtah do? Come on in! |
Well, I don't know about you, Sanitation Engineers, but I don't like Woody Allen. STILL it would be a real stretch for me to drag my brogans into a multiplex to sit through one of his whiney, Manhattan-obsessed Yankee movies just to say something nasty about him. Hell, I can say something nasty about Woody Allen without putting myself through that kindah Chinese water torture.
For instance: Woody Allen is a nerdy, over-sexed, balding little obsessive fool who still thinks he's a damned stud at sixty-two years old.
See how easy that is?
What gets me is that maybe Maureen Dowd is such a masochist that she needs the excuse of seeing another one of his damned movies BEFORE she can justify dissin' this little wimp!
I'll see ya'll on Monday.
Until then REMEMBER: It'll take more than few tornadoes to blow away all the trailer trash....
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