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G21 TABLOID HART

Is it Just Me?

by Thomas Hart

G21 Staff Writer

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Event #157: LIFE IS SWEET

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LAST WEEK's EDITION

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AUSTIN, TEXAS - AT THE TOP OF THE TRAILER PARK NEWS THIS WEEK, FELLOW SANITATION ENGINEERS:

  • British cartoon character, Tinky Winky, sues American cartoon character -- er! -- televangelist, Jerry Falwell for Libel and Defamation of Character.
  • U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton gives "serious thought" to being junior Senator from New York, in a putative race against Gotham Mayor Rudolf ("the friend of all Black people") Guiliani.
  • The Peoples Republic of Boulder (CO.) Police Department is the subject of a 600-plus page book looking at the Jean-Benet Ramsey murder investigation.

Welcome to the Dish!

All Trailer Park News - All the Time

CELEBRITY DISH OF THE WEEK: According to one of them rags put out by Rupert Murdoch, the Real King of All Media, which one I cain't recall at the moment, Limey kiddie-show character Tinky Winky is plannin' on suing our own Rev. Jerry Falwell over Falwell's claim that Tinky Winky is gay.

Tinky Winky is said to be plannin' on bringin' Reverend Falwell to court in Great Britain, where the libel laws are much more strict.

Word is Tinky Winky is bitch-slappin' mad over Falwell callin' him a fruit. He is said poised to bring Falwell up on charges of Libel and Defamation of Character in the U.K. Spokesman for Falwell say he is ready to "kick that little adverse role-model's butt."

You gottah love this, Sanitation Engineers! Here we would have a four year old kids' cartoon character bringin' the Foghorn Leghorn of American Christianity into the docket overseas. The best part of the whole joke is that it would Tinky Winky takin' judicial sloppy seconds from Tabloid Hart's personal trailer trash he-ro, The Man, Mr. Larry Flynt.

LARRY, AND ONLY LARRY, gets major Trailer Park props from Tabloid Hart for being the first one to expose Jerry Falwell for the mule's behind that he is. Now Tinky Winky could be right up there with Trailer Park icons with like the NATIONAL ENQUIRER.


Hillary's New York State of Mind

The Big Buzz from Gotham this week was all about how the U.S. First Lady, Hillary Rodham Clinton was giving "serious" thought to a run for the Senate from New York City.

Man! Don't you gottah wonder what is in the water on the Right Coast? I know we do down in here in Bubbaland, the Third Coast of the U.S. of A.

I mean, this woman would get the hiney-whippin' of her life from old Rudy Guiliani if she had the cajones to jump into the World's Meanest City fray, don't ya'll think?

Just this past Sunday, in the New Yawk Times, Maureen Dowd's whole column was about how that place would chew Hillary up and spit her our in a --- yep! --- New York Minute.
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Lemme share some excerpts with ya'll, Fellow Sanitation Engineers:

  1. "...Jimmy Breslin rolled out the welcome mat in Newsday, writing that the First Lady would face questions like: 'Is your husband going to come here with you so the two of you can mortify the whole city when he cavorts with young workers?'...
  2. "... And you can almost hear the reporters raucously calling out: 'Hey, LA-DY, First LA-DY, over here, you, Hill!'..."
  3. "...Gail Sheehy, Hillary biographer: 'I've been told by a White House press secretary that you think that any questions about feelings and motivations are psychobabble and yucky. New Yorkers want to know: What do you have against therapy?'

    "Wayne Barrett, Village Voice: 'If you were a member of the United States Senate, would you have voted for the welfare reform bill that targeted women and their children? Did you kick his (deleted) for that?'

    "Elizabeth Kolbert, The New Yorker: 'How many counties are in New York?'

    "Joanna Molloy, gossip columnist at The Daily News: 'How did you feel the day the President said, "I'm sorry, Monica"?' ... Need I say more, ya'll?

    Forget it, Hillary.

    These people would have you as the appetizer before reachin' for the mint-flavored toothpicks to get you outtah the way before moving on to a serious meal.


    BOULDER POLICE DEPARTMENT - HA, HA, HA!

    Down here at the Trailer Park in Texas, we had to laugh about there bein' a BIG CONTROVERSY in Denver over the book comin' out about the Keystone Kops handling of the Jean-Benet Ramsey murder case.

    Let's face it, Fellow Sanitation Engineers, this is a national embarassment of Titanic proportions. Like anybody believes they really wanted to solve this case.

    Like it's a big surprise that the Ramseys was totally focused on tartin' up their little daughter like a cheap whore and just winning kiddie beauty pageant contests as some type of sport.

    The only "revelations" that there book are gonnah offer at all are about how Big Money once again triumphed over the rule of law.

    And that's supposed to be News in these U.S. of A.?

    Tabloid Hart don't think so, nor does anyone in this here Trailer Park.

    Just Remember: It will take more than a few tornadoes to blow away all the trailer trash.

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