LONDON CALLING!

G21 World Tour - Conclusion

by Rod Amis

G21 Editor & Publisher

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EUROPE, 23 June, 2001 - Conclusion - I am walking the earth, like Cain in the television series "Kung Fu." And you are with me.

London is behind us, but it was hell getting out, wasn't it? It seems that every quest requires that the hero (not that anyone would call me one) endure certain trials, perform tasks for some tyrant, et cetera. Felicity required that I carry my life on my back on the Tube ride to Heathrow. Even her cousin, Laila (pronounced Lie-la) got rather agro about the last minute change in arrangements.

Laila got agro, actually, because Fliss hasn't been around for most of my visit and was requiring she and Garreth to come to the rescue again. Her anger is understandable. I'm not her friend, she didn't invite me to London, and she and her boyfriend shouldn't have had to entertain me, share meals with me and give me advice. I don't think I'm being unkind in saying this, but Felicity will be a bit hurt. She believes that what happened was just part of being in London, the life there, that she and Caspar are becoming more seriously involved.

Recall that my favorite movie line of all time is from "The Big Chill." Jeff Goldblum lucked out and got it:

"You can go for weeks without sex, but you can't go a single day without a rationalization."

I am on the White Dove! It is a Lufthansa flight to Munich.

After Munich we shall be in Belgrade, my lovelies, at long last.

There I must determine how I shall proceed with the rest of my life. I hope you'll help me in that decision. You have e-mail, yes? Visualize a Paradise for me and tell me where. I think it might be Serbia or somewhere further east. But I've been horribly wrong before; remember that.

I am only two hours away from Dragana and Dragan now. Felicity asked me if I was excited, as we made our way to Heathrow.

"No. Not excited," I said. "Relieved."

She still didn't get my dislike for the English, she told me. She still felt it also meant that I disliked her, as she is so very English.

Well, yes and no. I notice the Englishness. What I and most of my friends (I have a lot of Irish friends, folks) hate about "the bloody Brits." They are bloody. They are mean-spirited and should be held responsible for the evils they have inflicted upon our world.

Diplomatically, I tried to explain that I hate The South in the United States and that it fought a war to maintain the institution of slavery (yes, yes, there were other more complex issues, but you get my drift here!!!) That was my metaphor for my distaste for England. So I said to Fliss that just as I dislike the South Carolinians who want to rub my nose in it that they are proud of the stars and bars on their flag, I dislike the supercilious English who believe it's their right to oppress the Irish, etc., etc.

20:25 - And. at last, I am on the plane to Beograd (Belgrade.) White Dove II. This has been the dream for almost two years and now it is nearly real. Dragan and Dragana wait for me at the airport. But their descriptions of themselves are non-descript. I am to look for a woman with curly dark hair and dark eyes. A man with lighter hair and dark eyes.

As I joked to Fliss, "Great! I'm supposed to look for a couple of typical Serbians!! I won't know them from Adam and Eve!"

I shall tell you more in our next installment of the diary, Gentle Reader, but for now I'd prefer a cocktail than continuing in my own company. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker, as the sage said. More later.


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