JOKE OF THE DAY

Today's Laughs Provided by:

Rick Williams

Austin, TX, USA

Event #140: RENOVATION LAST WEEK's EDITION Have YOU checked the Barnes & Noble Search Engine? The Main Event HOME

A man walked into a church, stepped into the confessional and said to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an affair with two 18 year old girls. I made love with both of them... twice."

The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?"

"Never, Father, I'm Jewish."

"So then, why are you telling me?"

"I'm telling everybody."



Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa

How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam."

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell on you out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.

What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka.
and what kind of lettuce?
Iceberg.

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.

Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.

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