JOKE OF THE DAY

Today's Laughs Provided by:

Bob Powers

Marietta, OH, USA

Event #131: Give Me a Reason SEA OF DREAMS: CYNDI RUSSELL's popular feature returns! But with a twist. In association with ZenCyn's Dream Emporium, G21 offers a monthly contest. Submit here and win a free Dream Interpretation. POWERSSOUND: Fasten Your Seatbelt. BOB POWERS looks at ROBIN EUBANKS, AMINA FIGAROVA, DICK HYMAN & DICK WILBER, Western star STEPHANIE DAVIS, TEXAS' KERRVILLE FOLK FESTIVAL, MICHAEL WARD, and DON BAKER. A musical cornucopia! YOUR VOX POPULI page has new e-mail which we'll try to respond to. DAY ONE: TODAY: Guest Writer RIC WILLIAMS talks about America. There's a new Joke of Day in HOUSE OF CARDS. TABLOID HART: THOMAS HART with a special Dish Update on Bruce Willis, former-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell, Paula's new proboscis and The Jerry Springer Show. QUEER PLANET: PHIL MARTIN looks to a gay political hero who handled privacy invasion with class. Are you listening, Mr. President? DON'T READ ME FIRST! Our Publisher on the changes and trends in your World Magazine. LAST WEEK's EDITION BarnesandNoble SEARCH: Every writer here still reads offline. We support Barnes and Noble and hope you will, too. This is the place to find the best and brightest! For rapid response, use The Message Board HOME

Quotes from Groucho Marx

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of your fellow man.

I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour; which is probably more than she ever did.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Quote me as saying I was misquoted.

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