MAIN EVENT. A Good Place to Get Started --- a.k.a "Table of Contents"
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MAIN EVENT. A Good Place to Get Started --- a.k.a "Table of Contents" |
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BECKY - I fell in love with Elizabeth "Becky" the first day I met her. She was instrumental in my getting up the courage to go into business for myself and, I guess, in some ways, she was instrumental in ending my marriage.
They say that everyone has a doppelganger and Becky could certainly have been the sister my ex-wife Deborah never had. They looked so much alike, acted so much, dressed so much alike, that my landlord at the time didn't know that it was Becky visiting me to work on a client proposal instead of Debbie just being at home. I never told him otherwise...
Becky had something else in common with Debbie: she believed in me. She very possibly believed in me, at that stage of my life, even more than my wife did. Deb was afraid about my going into business, Becky did everything she possibly could to make it happen.
After they first met, Deb said to me in bed that night: "You like her, don't you?"
"Yeah, she's smart, professional."
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"Are you going to be seeing a lot of her?"
(Women know.)
"I doubt it," I said. "She's the consultant for the client. After I nail the contract, she's history."
Becky and I met while I was working for a new telcom start-up in Santa Rosa, after I'd returned from Denver so that I could save my marriage. Deb had hated Denver and hated my job at the Rocky Mountain News. Our marriage was very much on the rocks. We both agreed that the only way to save it was to leave Colorado.
We agreed to move back to California, where she had family and a support system, and give our life together another chance. I started working for ComMar, a communications marketing company, until I could get back in the newspaper business. That's how I met Becky. She was the representative of a company I was trying to sell on using us.
Becky had just gone independent and was working out of her house. So I met her there the first and only time. And I immediately knew I wanted her. But we were both married professionals. We were total strangers.
The next time we met in a park. We had lunch at an outdoor restaurant. She immediately started talking about how I was too smart, too savvy, to work for the start-up. It wasn't long before she and I were talking about me leaving ComMar and starting my own business.
We became very close.
It wasn't long before I learned that Becky was cheating on her husband, a reporter then for the Santa Rosa Press Democrat. And, of course, I shared with her that I had moved back to California because my own marriage was in trouble....
Months later, after I had met Peggy, Becky and I went out to lunch because communication between us had become difficult.
I knew she was angry with me --- even as the business she had encouraged me to start had begun to thrive and contracts for her company and mine were lucrative. I couldn't understand what the problem between us was.
"Yes," she said. "I'm angry, Rod. But you have to understand that my parents always discouraged expressing anger. I have problems with my anger." She told me more about what growing up was like for her.
And I said, "Becky, you're angry with me because I'm not having an affair with you."
She started to cry. "Yes," she said softly. "I don't understand."
I took her hand then, where it rested on the table. "My God!" I said. "You have to know I've always loved you --- but for the wrong reasons. Every year I was married to Deb she wore a clown costume for Halloween. What did you show up at the office party dressed as last Halloween? A CLOWN!
"You are the wife I always wanted, but that I already had! The ONLY difference between you and her is that you understand my corporate side. She's a country mouse, pure and simple. Why do you think I'm going through the divorce?"
She gripped my hand tightly. "You just said you love me!"
"Beck, I've loved you since the moment I met you. It's been all I can do keep our 'relationship' professional."
She lowered her head: "Then why her?"
"Because she's nothing like any woman anyone would expect me to be with," I said. "Can you understand that?"
"Oh shit," Becky said and sniffed. She wiped back her tears. "That is so you!" Then she chuckled. "You bastard!"
"So you still love me, too?"
"I guess."
"Okay. I can live with that for now. Just don't hide from me when you're angry with me anymore."
Becky smiled. It was like sunshine. "You know what?"
"What?"
"She's going to hurt you, Rod."
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