THE HANDBOOK: Volumn 2

So listen up!

If you read the first version of the Cool Guys Handbook, you already know that Cool Guys are into the Swinging Lifestyle.

But maybe you are still a little confused.

Forget about it!

Half of the Swinging Lifestyle is that you don't remember what happened! You understand what I'm saying? Or are you the dumb freak I thought you were?

Hey! It was a joke! What? You wannah pull your piece on me now? I thought we were pals!

The DYING TO BE COOL -2 Issue: In/Out DON'T READ ME FIRST! our Editor and Publisher continues from the cover. G21 REPRISE: Advice for Cool Chicks G21 REPRISE: The First COOL GUYS HANDBOOK. THE HANDBOOK, Volume 2 The FASHION(s) Issue FLISS USSHER delivers a Fashion Statement: LONDON CALLING! The Fashion of the English Queue. POLICY MATTERS: ADAM SMITH, Associate Director of the Beltway's Drug Reform Coordination Network on Czech President Vaclav Havel. TRIO: THOMAS HART castigates "WEB FASHIONS." G21 ASIA RAOUL TESLA with more insights from Manila, the Philippines. BARE KNUCKLES: JEFF WINBUSH thinks Paula Jones is the Ultimate Fashion - Victim. POWERSBOOKS has our literary critic looking at the most FASHIONable books by JOE QUIRK, PETER HAMILTON, & CHRIS BUNCH. TRIO: RADIO RAHEEM on SMAPPIES (Stagnant, Single Middle-Aged Professionals) JENNIFER BLUE's PLANETARY MADNESS looks at YOUR influences! ANOTHER Great Joke of the Day in THE HOUSE OF CARDS! Hello! Use The Message Board HOME

Okay. Let me start again.

Over the course of the next week, in this HANDBOOK we have prepared for you, my brother, my friend --- Look, this is not a joke.

There are many important things you must know in order to be considered a cool individual.

For example, do you know the starting line-up of every team in the NBA, the NFL, and both baseball leagues? You gottah. What will you have to talk to other cool guys about?

Your lady friend there, does she know if she's an autumn, spring, or summer? Of course she does, she looks like a cool individual, and these are things every cool woman must know before entering a department store.

You understand what I'm saying?

You mean a lot to me. You are like Family.

You understand what that means?

My ex-wife? She was a Saint. A living Saint. This woman cared about everybody. A cat on the street! The next-door neighbor with the flu? She was over there with a bowl of soup and a cold compress.

The Postman? She had HOT-CROSSED BUNS on Christmas Day and an envelope with a check! This woman! The Almighty broke the mold with this woman!

And for years there, she loved me. What can I say? How can I explain this type of thing to you when you are just now learning about life?

You want to be "cool?" Someone special! I'm trying to explain to you what special is!

Let me tell you about This Woman.

Say we needed to have a meeting tonight, at my house? She'd be "Where else should your friends come to talk with you but your home?"

Off to the kitchen she goes. We have hor d'oerves, we have sandwiches, we have desserts. All of this in my own home! Do you understand how special this is? Do you understand the Respect this woman was showing for me, her husband? What this meant in the community?

Okay.

Let's go inside. Let's have something to eat. A glass of wine.

After that, we'll talk some more. We have all week, right? You can be a Cool Individual. You have that in you. I can see it.